


More Genuine

by MoominQuartz (IceCreAMS)



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Introspection, Neglect, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Steven Universe: The Movie Spoilers, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCreAMS/pseuds/MoominQuartz
Summary: Spinel goes for 6000 years without being touched by anyone. Then she meets Steven Universe.
Relationships: Pink Diamond & Spinel (Steven Universe), Spinel & Steven Universe
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648339
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	More Genuine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KrisseyCrystal (IceCreAMS)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCreAMS/gifts).



> Krissey, my beautiful wife, gave me the FANTASTIC prompt of "Spinel + Touch-Starved." I was super ecstatic to get this one, as most of my prompts were with Steven -- which, don't get me wrong, I adore writing Steven angst, but I just finished a multichapter that was, essentially, ALL Steven angst, so it was fun to get to play around with someone else's angst!
> 
> Click [[here]](https://moominquartz.tumblr.com/post/611717156199186432) to see my current Bingo card!
> 
> Also please note, this is not shippy. 0% romance involved.

Spinel is born into the universe a playful, loving creature. She latches onto Pink Diamond immediately, the first person she sees in her millennia of existence, quite literally; her arms slink around her like a rubber hose and squeeze, and Pink Diamond laughs.

Spinel and Pink Diamond play hundreds and hundreds of games. These range from hide and seek to tag to charades and to many, many more. It is in Spinel’s intense interest to keep Pink Diamond engaged, and oh does she engage her. 

Spinel’s favorite moments with her Diamond, however, are not the games or the jokes or any of the laughter — although the laughter is, in her opinion, a close second. No, her favorite moments are always the ones where they take a moment to breathe, close to tears with joy, and Pink Diamond sets an arm around her and pulls her in tight.

Spinel doesn’t understand why she’s so fond of hugs. It’s not in her programming. It’s not her purpose. But as she wraps her arms around her Diamond in return, she can’t help but feel special. She has never seen Pink Diamond do this to anyone else, not even her precious Pearl. Certainly, none of the other Diamonds seem to indulge in this sort of behavior, and Spinel feels extraordinarily precious.

Laughter is her purpose, and while it brings her joy, nothing brings her fulfillment the way the physical closeness does. Hugs are her favorite, but she also enjoys being lifted up onto Pink Diamond’s shoulders and raced around the garden like she’s a Red Eye. She enjoys the tickle fights, in which somehow Spinel always bests her Diamond, and her Diamond doesn’t seem to mind at all. To think, a _Spinel_ defeating a _Diamond,_ even in something as inconsequential as this! And to think, too, that Pink Diamond would press a kiss to her forehead. To think that Spinel would be loved by a _Diamond_ in a way no one else would ever be.

And then her Diamond is suddenly gone, vanished, and Spinel is isolated for thousands of years, and the only touch she knows is that of the overgrown vines that claim her.

It shouldn’t be so heartbreaking to realize she’s been abandoned. To realize that the Diamond that held her as if she was something more than a gem with her own programming and design, as if Spinel could ever be something more than a _tool,_ would toss her aside as she would a common toy. Did the hugs, the touches, the forehead kisses mean nothing? Did the hundreds of years they spent together in the garden mean nothing as soon as she got what she wanted?

What was Spinel, then? Just trash at the foot of a throne? Just a tool that had been useful once and wasn’t any longer? 

When she arrives on Earth, she intends to wreak havoc. She doesn't care about anything except ensuring that there are victims to her wrath.

And then she gets hit with the rejuvenator. An unforeseen turn of events. She doesn’t recall any of the things she says or does when her memory is wiped, but that’s fine.

Steven sees her as the innocent, dumb jester that she was, and he accepts it. He sees the way his mother spurned her, crumpled her up in her hand and tossed her aside, chewed her up and spit her out. And he accepts it.

He sees the trauma that turned her into this horrid, _vengeful_ creature, and he accepts it.

Then, of all the things he could possibly do — on top of all the impossible things he’s already _done_ — he reaches his hand out to her, an offering, and Spinel freezes.

Of course it all floods back. All of the time she spent in the timeless, aching void, all the things she could worry about completely unknowable. All of the time before the void, spent in the company of solely one person, this person who was her world. Who held her close and should have cherished her.

When she sets her hand in Steven’s, everything changes. There’s a physical element to the sudden _yank_ within her; an intense, craving yearn for the kind of relationship she once had, but something _genuine_ this time. Something that would be meaningful, caring, and celebratory.

Something consuming. Something that would give her purpose.

She clings to his hand. Her fingers wrapped in his gives her the same rush of emotion she felt with Pink all at once, a force slamming into her harder than the rejuvenator ever could. She’s blindsided and drawn to him by a magnetic pull strong enough to lift the injector out of the Earth, but Steven drops her hand almost as soon as he took it — a moment frozen in time, forever, far too long to have been so short, and yet it wasn’t long enough, she’s still _processing._

But it doesn’t mean anything to him. She follows him, a stupid puppy dog with its tail between its legs, unable to look away from the one person who would give her what she hasn’t had in _millennia._

Steven isn’t Pink Diamond. He could never be. He’s far too sincere, nowhere near as touchy, and he bleeds.

But if he would give Spinel the chance, she’d follow him to the ends of the universe. 

Spoiler: She ruins the chance he gives her, and then the only touch she gets are the punches she deals him. And then she banishes herself from his sight, knowing she can’t be forgiven — _she_ wouldn’t forgive herself. She’s erred in ways on par with the gem who made her into _this._

And yet.

One of the very first things that the Diamonds do is touch her. They allow her into their hands, allow her to swing from their fingers, and they show her an immediate adoration she thought wasn’t real.

Maybe it isn’t.

That’s fine. She’ll take this and work to redeem herself and then maybe — _just maybe_ — she’ll be worthy of a more genuine touch.

Of a more genuine love.


End file.
